Smiling Tears

    TODAY, the result of engineering K.T exam was announced & the marklist was displayed on the noticeboard. Students were already restless about their results, so they kept an eye on the board, that when the results will be displayed. The mob gathered near the board when some of the students saw the authorities coming towards the board with multiple lists in their hand. Bouncers tried their best to do their job n distract the crowd, but they failed. Within very less time the lists were displayed on the board. Everyone jumped n attacked the board in the same way the lion on his prey. The authorities somehow escaped the wave. And soon the whole atmosphere changed in a blink.
 
    The dark clouds gathered in the sky n it was about to rain. Darkness was so dense that it was very hard to recognise even the face of the person next to you. It was difficult to read the result. Some students flashed the torches in their cellphones on the noticeboard to make the result visible. In this very dull light everyone was busy searching their seat numbers to see the result.


    All of a sudden, the messy noise of crowd was filled with various sounds. The chattering noises were soon replaced by shocking screams, joyful songs & depressing cries. Some came out of the crowd with a numb  expression, some came with a big smile on their face, some came with watery eyes while some just broke down in the crowd itself. So many expressions, at a time that too at one place was something new to me. Somewhere it was flooding while somewhere it was a bright sunny day.


    I was observing all this scenario standing a bit away from the crowd. When a very good friend of mine, Tanishka, who had 3 K.T's earlier came out of the crowd with a zero expression on her face. I was trying to read her face and make out the result. I was knowing result was not at all good, but hoping it was bad not worst. She came to me, looked in my eyes, which were shinning like diamonds due to flooded tears. I had never seen her cry before this, because she was a girl with a very bubbly image. Tears rolled down her cheeks when she informed me that, not a single subject is cleared in her creepy voice. Here she was crying n there it started raining heavily as if the sky was complimenting her.


    While I was consoling her n trying to reduce her stress, there came Sayli, another good friend of mine, screaming with joy. Earlier she had 5 K.T's, but this time she cleared all the 5. I was understanding her emotions but could not make out, what to do?? Whether I should also celebrate her success n dance with her?? or I must console Tanishka??? I was getting sandwiched between them. But then I congratulated Sayli, n went to Tanishka. I thought, I could celebrate her success later on, but Tanishka was depressed a lot n needed someone to give her a support. Sayli, me n our other friends too tried to console her n bring her out of the shock. Later on, with the time she again stood up with the positive attitude.


    The whole incident was so weird n touching to me. On one side my friend was crying before me n I stood so helpless in front of her, n on the other side I couldn't celebrate the success of my other friend. The two situations were contradictory. It was not just this, but after the result was displayed, the whole crowd got divided in two groups. The one who succeeded n others who failed. The successful had everything, but the other crowd felt alone among such big noisy mob. Looking at the other crowd, who's success is just delayed a bit, it would make you feel so depressed. The scenario was nothing different than what you see at any funeral. But I think, what i saw today was also a funeral.  Yes, funeral of their DEAD DREAMS n HOPES.


P.S:- Pictures are for representational purposes, the rights are reserved by their respective owners.
K.T. is the abbreviation for "Allowed To Keep Term".   

Left Alone

This poem explains the dilemma of a person who's wife died of some life terminating disease. Some stranger ask him about love, n this person with a heavy heart speaks out what love meant to him. Read his heart-breaking love story in this poetry conversation...   

I am all alone without you.

While travelling in a train,

In a light drizzling rain.

An unknown person,

Asked me a question.

Do you believe in true love??

I ignored him,

He asked again.

I avoided him,

He made eye contact.

Finally, I answered him.

My heart was sinking,

My eyes were blinking,

But I answered him.

I said,

                Yes, I believe,

                That’s the reason I live.

                I had one wife,

                She was my life.

She loved me truly,

                Beyond your thoughts,

                Beyond the reach,

                Beyond imagination,

                Beyond my speech.

But she left me,

                she left me all alone,

                in this big bad world…

                Breaking my link,

                He started to think.

                He again hammered a question,

                How weird is your relation??

If she loved you, why did she leave you??

I said,

                It was not my will,

                Not her wish.

                She’s no more alive,

                To be in my life.

                I wanted to cry,

                But had to hold on.

                I wanted to die,

                But had to move on.

I said,

                She suffered from leukemia.

                She was moving towards termination.

                She knew she’s gonna die,

                But strong was her determination.

Before her death

                She spent each second with me,

                She dropped me,

                She picked me,

                She did her best to be with me.

                As her memory,

                She knitted this sweater.

                The warmth in which,

                Has become more sweeter.

                This sweater is incomplete,

                Because she left the world in between,

                Leaving me & sweater, both incomplete,

                Without her….

                I miss her…

                I miss her… a lot ;(

P.S:- This poem is inspired from the story written by Mr. Aditya Kasar "9:05 CST LOCAL" in his blog "TAKE MY WORD 4 IT". Here's the link:- http://kasaraditya.blogspot.com/2012/07/0905-cst-local.html 

Special Thanks to Aditya Sir.

                 

The Lost Friend - II

    After I joined my degree college, I made many friends. At the end of 1st semester, I met a girl by the reference of my friend. Her name was Nidhi. At first we behaved like typical strangers, but as the time passed our friendship got thicker. We finished our submissions, vivas, prelims and within no time the semester got over. By the time, we were best-o-buddies. 2nd semester started, and the new member was added to our college group, Nidhi. We became such a good friends of each other that we shared everything with each other. We knew each other's past, present and but obvious we are not astrologers to know future. Everytime I had friendship with a girl, I used to share a very strange relationship with them. How could Nidhi be the exception then?? She considered me as her brother. Yes every other girl is my sister!!!

    For the past 3 years I was in a serious relationship with a girl called Nitika. This was not new for Nidhi, but she had a lot of respect for our love in her heart. Whenever I had a glance over any other girl, she used to remind me about Nitika. For me friendship is a kind of cyclic process, if "A" is a friend of "B", and "B" is a friend of "C", then automatically "A" becomes friend of "C". So, by this rule, Nitika n Nidhi were friends too. We all used to hang out, have fun, play pranks on each other, bunk classes together. But our exams for 2nd semester were close so we stopped all this nonsense and concentrated on our studies.

Why?? She misunderstood me

    Our exams started, which resulted in the decrease in the frequency of spending time with Nitika. Nitika had one elder sister, who came to know about our relationship. She was already having idea, but was not confirm. Her sister some how managed to contact me and told me to stop dating Nitika. I did not agree to it. Finally, she used her nuclear bomb "EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL" to deal with me. Finally I decided to end up relation with Nitika, otherwise it would have landed her in trouble. I contacted Nitika n told her everything. I deleted Nitika from my facebook account n to give our act of break up the real touch, abused each other a lot. Our friends, her sister n obviously Nidhi witnessed our break up. By the time, Nitika made a fake profile n added me n our common friends to it. That profile blocked every relative of her. Nitika texted the whole drama to every friend of her n mine who were our well-wishers, except Nidhi. She forgot to inform her in the whole mess.

    In the next few days, Nidhi asked me about the friend request from Anushka Patel(Fake acc. of Nitika), as I was mutual friend. My evil mind made a dirty plan in which Nidhi was going to be the target. I said she was my new GF, which she believed. She tried hard to convince me to get back to Nitika. While Nitika kept on flowing fake tears in front of her. Nidhi related all this to her past break up n cried for us, which was not accepted by one of my female friends n she informed Nidhi about the whole prank. Nidhi went out of temper n said a lot bad things to me n Nitika. Nitika was hurt. We tried to convince Nidhi a lot, that we didn't want to hurt her, but her anger forced her to break all her attachments to us. She broke every relation with us.

    I didn't ever thought that this would happen. The girl who considered me as her bro, will one day kick me out of her life?? Was the prank so rude that she was hurt so much?? I still dont know was it such a big mistake or she always wanted to get rid of me n I gave her a chance. All I know is I still watch her pics n cherish the sweet memories we shared n unknowingly tears roll down my cheeks.  ;(       

The Lost Friend..

    I, still remember the 1st week of june, 2004. The most happening week I can say. Everywhere there was a hustle, coz in 2nd week the schools were re-opening. Me, my friends, every school going child was busy with the back to school type shopping. I had four best buddies then, Nimmi, Nishu, Puttu n Rekha. We all lived n the same apartment, Nimmi n Nishu were siblings n my neighbour, while Puttu lived on the top floor of the apartment. Rekha was elder to us, while we were in 3rd or 4th std., n also shared the same floor with me, Nimmi n Nishu.

    While everyone of us were busy packing our school bags, Rekha n her family was packing there clothes and other household stuff. One of the afternoon that week, when we were hanging out at her place, she gave us the worst news of that tym. She said,"Hey friends, our family is shifting!!".

    There was pin drop silence. Everyone of us was freezed. No one uttered a word. Everyone of us was in a state of mental trauma, and it was justified by our small minds, loads of memories we shared and the emotional attachment we had. We kept quite for a long time looking at each other's stupid sad faces n watery eyes. All of a sudden, Nimmi cutting the fog of silence shouted,"But why??", she was about to cry but, tried her best to hold on her tears.

   
 Rekha's father lived abroad in Kenya for work. Here she lived with her mom n brother. Rekha too was in so much pain that, she answered Nimmi's question in her very sweet voice, but in a low tone.She said,"Dad bought us a new house". Me, Nishu n Puttu was still recovering the shock.

"But why not this flat?", Nimmi asked.

"I don't know, its all dad's decision... But i have heard that its in this town only. Don,t worry dear we will be still together, no one can break our group.", trying to freshen up the atmosphere, Rekha said.

"But won't be meeting, right???", Nimmi asked.

"Who said?? ofcourse you can come at any time yaar", Rekha answered.

Myself, Nishu n puttu were hearing all this without reacting as if we were in comma. We wanted to speak a lot but as soon as we open our mouth we must have definitely cried.So it was better to be quite that time.

    
    That week passed. We spent that week being together all the time. We played our stupid games, recollected old memories, gifted Rekha a miss you card as our memory and at the weekend she shifted. There was silence all over. We missed her like hell. We felt our group has been broken. One fine day after our school started Rekha came to meet us. We were on the cloud nine. She used to meet us regularly n we too did the same but, as the time passed, our contacts reduced, our responsibiliteis increased, one day came when we were out of reach to each other.

   
    Rekha n her family moved to Kenya later on. After that we never met her, we never heard her voice too.She was very far from us now but still we recall her memories, we still miss her. But she was lost in this BIG BIG world.

TODAY, we all are busy with our own life. Still, whenever we re-unite, there is always a dialogue one of us will deliver, "HEY, REKHA YAAD HAI.......", n we all become centi again.

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

Intentionally I separated her from me,

But when she went,

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

I saw her

She saw me

I was a player

She was an angel

She smiled n she walked out,

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

(We became buddies)

I met her once

She met me twice

She had feelings 4 me

I too had for her

But our feelings differ, she was about to express

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

She proposed me

I accepted her

She was lost in my love

N I was lost in her lust

She made love

N I had sex

She lost her every thing to me

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

She enjoyed my company

I enjoyed her body

She was mine, She thought

But I was not her, was truth

She was about to make a commitment for a lifetime,

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

She was committed

Still I was single

She chose me for a lifetime

But I was bored with her in sometime

She was not ready to leave the city w/o me

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

She fought her parents

I scolded her

She didn't want to go

I convinced her

Finally she was at airport, about to leave,

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

She hugged me tight

I did her too

I was happy

She was sad

She said something which shook my world

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

She said she knew I don,t love her

She knew I don't wanna have her

She owed me everything

But I had nothing

I played her heart

Now she was hurt

Leaving me now she was going

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

Loneliness surrounded all around me

I almost cried

For the one

Whom I never loved????

She was now away from my eyes

N I was in love with her!!!!

With a heavy heart I came back home,

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

I tried to see her

But couldn't

1 day a call came

She died in a car crash

Their itself I had a heart crash

I felt so guilty

I couldn't recognize the loving heart

I was the reason 4 her death

But I was dead too

It was that moment

I wish I could have stopped her!!!

I wish I could have stopped her!!! Just once!!!!

@Teenage: Teenagers :)

@Teenage: Teenagers :):    Teenage, the most mistaken phase of human life. Teenagers are considered to be children but expected to behave like an adult.  They are ...

Teenagers :)

   Teenage, the most mistaken phase of human life. Teenagers are considered to be children but expected to behave like an adult.  They are most of the times blamed to be careless and due to it stress free. But have you ever tried to simplify n understand the life of any teenager??? Here is a view...

       Personally, I feel today's teenagers lead the most hectic, busy n stressful life. But they are most of the times mistaken as hopeless, which further makes their thoughts, ideas, feelings waste n unimportant. Any other person who thinks that teenagers are stress free may be wrong at a time. But instead we must appreciate their way of living life with so much ease n enthusiasm. Have you ever focused on the multitasking abilities of these youngsters??

       Its not simple to keep going in a relationship without letting your parents know about it. Its not easy to concentrate on love n studies simultaneously, but they do it with ease. To keep up with your grades while you are hanging out with your friends, crush, keeping a hold on your hobbies, going out for a social cause is not easy. Being in touch with the relatives who don't even know our names sometimes, is not easy. Giving a time to family, helping their brother, sister, mother in their works while completing their own assignments,projects n works is not easy. Their calculated way of spending their pocket money shows their practical approach towards life n their strong economics. Their facebook comments, status, their tweets, reflects their thinking, their persona, their creativity. Have you ever came across their dairies?? 

      Their dairies would always tell you how good writers they are, their story telling ability. The way they plan their outings reflects their management n leadership skills. Late night chats, surfing, 2 hour sleep n still attending the lectures in the early morning with the same enthusiasm everyday shows only their positive approach to life.

       Elders or i'll say everyone, must try to see n learn from their "cool" way of living. Their art of making life more simple n beautiful is just god gifted. But for our elders, our(teenager's) life starts with a book and ends up with a placement in any good firm. But reading this hope you may change your way of thinking towards us n always remember, that their is always a big planning n calculation behind our every "DEKHENGE". ;)